What should an average looking, intelligent, hard working 18 year old man's dating and love strategy be?
Here's the problem.
All men want to commit to young attractive women, but will have sex with any woman and women peak physically at 24. Men can easily have sex with lots of women if given the chance.
Women want the most attractive guy they can have sex with and don't care that much about commitment until they hit 30. Then they want the richest most attractive man they can get commitment from because they will soon be too old to have kids.
This creates a problem. When women are at their peak they are having sex with the top 5-10% of men in terms of looks. Those guys are getting loads of sex. Because 5, 6, 7 ,8, 9, 10 out of 10 women are having sex with 8 ,9 ,10 out of 10 men. The rest of men are below them, because if a 5 out of 10 woman has sex with a 8 out of 10 man, she now thinks she's 8 out of 10. These men get loads of sex, treat women badly because they are disposable, the women think all men are bad because the men they sleep with treat them bad. Women have this inflated opinion of their own attractiveness and keep chasing the top 10% of men by looks and getting no commitment. Until the women hit 30, then they decide to 'settle' they give up chasing the top 20% and maybe settle on an average guy.
To make it worse for men from 18-25, young women are chased by older men, so the numbers are against young men, and massively in favour of young women. For example a 22 year old women will be chased by men from 22 to 35. A 22 year old man is chasing women that are probably 20 to 22. So young women have 4-5 times as many men chasing them as a 22 year old man gets to chase. Plus the 22 year old man is competing against 30 year old men that are more advanced in their career and have way more money.
But what happens when a man and a woman are 35. The woman is only being chased by 35 to 45 year old men, and the 35 year old man can be chasing 20 to 35 year old women. So the game completely changes for men later on. I think the turning point is about 28-30 which is the average marriage age. At this point, women are already 4-6 years past their peak, they can see what's happening and they need to get married to have kids, it's starting to slowly get better for the average guy but they don't realise their 20's are horrible and they are just getting to the stage of life where they have it better than women. Because they don't realise, they marry.
Imagine you're the average guy. You spend your 20's spending loads of time and money chasing women who look down on you even if they are your looks level, and they get as much sex as they want while you struggle to get anything. Once you hit your 30's maybe the women your age will now 'settle' for you. You now have to pay for a woman for the rest of her life who is past her peak and declining, while she was fucking other guys through her prime. Plus she thinks you're below her because she's a 6 and was having sex with 7 and 8s and 9s. So you get attitude from her.
It's a really really terrible deal for men. So what are you going to do?
1. When women hit 30 they want a man with resources. So you are going to work on getting those resources. But you will never share them with a woman, because once she has them she doesn't need you. So you will work on building money and will never marry with out a rock solid pre-nuptual agreement. This means if you marry a woman, you will be in the drivering seat for the rest of your life. You will demand she gives you the sex she gave the hot guys she banged in her 20's for the rest of her life or she's kicked to the curb.
2. So she gets to have fun and fuck as many guys as she wants in her 20's and not work hard on her career. while you work hard and get no sex? That's not fair, so you are going to spend a chunk of the resources that those women want on going abroad and having sex with prostitutes.
Chasing women in your 20's takes way too much time and money. It's awful and demoralising. Do not play the game. Go abroad where women are cheap and pay. You'll get better sex with better looking women while being able to concentrate on your goals.
Then you don't end up in a situation where you are 30 and the women you're going to marry has had sex with 20 different dudes from 7 to 10 out of 10, and you've had sex with 5 girls that are 4 or 5 out of 10.
Are there exceptions and rules? Yes
1, Never marry a woman older than you. I know when you are not getting any action and you meet a nice older woman you'll get desperate. You're better off alone. She'll be domineering because she's older than you and her sex drive will disappear.
2. Try and date women in your 20's. If you find a woman that wants to commit when she is young and doesn't have a high body count, and she's about your looks level, marry her. But expect that that will likely never happen.
Now I've described the problem, here is a plan to help you get through it:
1. Get in to a good career. But remember the best way to create money is to build something. Either renovate a property or build a business. Creating assets that generate you an income stream is the only way to get to financial independence.
2. Guard your money like a dragon and grow it. Never share, ever. If you get married only do so with a pre-nup agreement.
3. Stay healthy, wear nice clothes, ask women you like, what they do (Salsa/skiing/whatever) and do it as well (shared interests).
4. Try to date in your 20's. Don't get married or have kids. Don't feel bad if you are invisible to most women and get no sex, that's normal. Get a property ASAP.
5. Go abroad and use prostitutes. What you need to understand is women get as much free sex with men far better looking than they are whenever they want. Women on Tinder are outnumbered and flooded with thousands of options. In effect Tinder is a free prostitution service for women, in fact it's worse because not only do they not pay, the guys buy them things. So you can try and join the game and waste massive amounts of your time and money chasing not very pretty women, or concentrate on your career and go overseas and have better sex with prettier women. Prostitution is looked down upon by most people. Women look down on it because they don't want men spending their resources, they want men to save their resources and be there for them when they hit 30. Women also have no idea how stacked against average men the dating market is, they think because they are a 5 out of 10 and getting loads of sex a 5 out of 10 man is as well, they are ignorant of the struggles of normal men and don't care. Men look down on it because the top 10% of men get as much free sex as they want, so if you aren't then it's an admission you are not a top 10% man. Well tough shit you aren't you are normal, and you can be delusional or pretend you are top 10%, or you can call out the game and say you aren't playing. Maybe educate some of your friends.
6. When you hit 25 and your career is on track and you've qualified. Then look overseas for a woman at least 5 years younger. If by some freak chance you meet a western woman 5 years younger on your looks level, then marry her.
Something I'd recommend you do is:
1. Check how attractive you are. Use an online service that rates faces. If you have a mum who always tells you how pretty you are or something you could have wrong data. Also if you get a girlfriend put photos of her through the same service. Use data to check your reality.
2. Stay healthy excersize. Work on your attractiveness.
What's the problem?
My experience growing up from uni onwards:
At uni I had lots of girl friends and very few girlfriends. I've literally been to a nightclub at uni with 10 girls, all of them have left with some guy and I've left on my own. These were not good looking women or clever women or in shape women. I remember once thinking I should ask one of them out (I really liked her personality, I'm serious) she's about a 2 and she said "Eww". I'm just over 5'11 but not 6ft. I used to play a lot of sport so I was in shape/slim but I could never put on muscle (because I didn't know what I was doing), I've had a brutally honest woman tell me I'm a 5 maybe 6 in looks, she's not the sort to lie, and I think she's probably right, I worked in an office and I found out all the women had got together and rated me a 6 (I was told they do it to all men that came in for an interview). I've been to parties and generally I feel almost invisible to women. I went to lots and lots of nightclubs and generally women are not interested. I've had girlfriends but they were pretty ugly and short, but my experience was that the good looking guys got all the one night stands every time I ever went out, so my only chance of ever getting sex was through a relationship, because the guys having one night stands don't have the time to date women. They can give multiple women low quality relationships, maybe they take them out on their birthday, and do the minimum, but they won't have those women in their social circle and the women know. I suspect a lot of women put up with this when they are a 6 'dating' an 8. So as a 6 looks man you end up going out with 3-5 looks women. After uni I went to nightschool and qualified as an accountant my salary started going up. 2 of the girls in my social circle at uni who I'd stayed in contact with showed interest. 1 of them I didn't even realise was showing interest until now when I look back. The other we went out on a friend date and ended up sleeping together to my surprise. It went well for a few weeks, and then I realised it was a relationship and I thought about it and told her I couldn't marry her because when we were at uni she had sex with loads of other men and had never wanted me, so how could I marry her knowing she'd chosen all those other men over me. I could have strung her along but I thought that was wrong, she cried, I felt bad. Often doing the right thing feels bad. She was slim and pretty with a lot of energy funny probably a 6 face 7 body. She'd left uni ended up doing beauty therapy earning next to nothing and struggled to make ends meet in London. I think she saw where my career was going and saw where her life was going and decided she wanted my future money, plus she might have got fed up of not getting a proper relationship and realised her looks were going. If I'd have married her she would have got everything she wanted, she'd have had sex with all the 7-8 dudes she wanted at uni using up her best looks and health on other guys, spent all her money on holidays and fun, not really worked hard ever, and then picked up a man on about her looks level at 28 on a career trajectory to pay for her for the rest of her life. I went to Australia because I was fed up with London, in part because I couldn't meet nice women that were interested in me. I went to parties and women still weren't interested. I met a woman while learning to surf and asked her out and it went well. She was pretty and had a good job and was clever and I thought maybe this is the person to marry. But I found out after a while she was 5 years older than me. I knew that wasn't good but I didn't know why and I set it aside, that was a terrible mistake. She had hit the wall, she didn't know it and she met a guy that wanted to get married and have kids. I didn't know what the wall was. We had loads of sex, but that stopped a few years in to marriage. By that point we had 3 kids and I was stuck. What a miserable life. You can't understand the misery unless you are a man who's been through it.
Why does it suck for men?
What I realise now is the sex market in a man/womans 20's and even teens is stacked in favour of women. In the old days people got married at 20 and men were taken off the market, and the market worked to pair off men and women at roughly equal ratings. Women peak at 24, men have to spend their life paying for the woman. That seems fair. Now men/women marry at 28, women spend their best years having sex with a minority of men, then when the women realise they have to get married because otherwise they'll be too old for risk free healthy children they start to pair off with men that have had sexless 20's and now have to pay for that women for the rest of their life when the women spent her best years having sex with other guys she would rather be married to than you. Add in to this it's now socially acceptable to be a single mum, and there's about 51 men to 49 women, even at the 28 pair off stage it's not 'fair' on men. If you are a 8/9/10 man, then it's great you are having more sex than any men in history. If you are an average man you are probably having less sex than any time in history.
So what can you do about it?
As an average man, you can try and make yourself up from a 5 to a 6 or 7. Treat it like a project. Get in shape, build some muscles, wear nice clothes, make sure you have a good hair cut, practice jokes/card tricks/art/music anything that makes you interesting. (Note be careful here because women find good looking men interesting. If you're good looking with a stamp collection women will be interested. So don't go overboard on the interesting.) Women also like men with shared interests, so join something women do - yoga/salsa/ask women you know what they do and do that.
Women want looks and money. The older they get and the poorer they are the more they care about money. Make money and guard your money like a dragon, or Golem guards his ring. Work on your career, it's more important over the long term than building muscles, and you can't do much about your looks. Never get married without a pre-nup. Never share your money. Never have a shared bank account. Once she has your money you are disposable to her. At the very least she will lose respect. Will she be happy about it - no. Of course not, because she knows if she treats you bad you walk with the money.
So far this is still a shitty situation for men - I'm saying try and max your looks, but really you aren't going to get much sex in your 20's, then in your 30's you'll pick up some woman on about your looks level who's spent her best years having sex with other men while you've had little experience or fun and you have to pay for her the rest of your life.
But you have one trump card. You don't care how much money she has. All you care about is her looks. She could be penniless, and most women in the west will be. She cares very very very much about your money, or money potential. Why do you have to marry a western woman? Answer - you don't. Can she marry some dude from Thailand or Nigeria or Columbia? Well she could if she'd worked hard and wasn't interested in getting her hands on someone else's money, and was prepared to work the rest of her life to pay for the man, but she's not! But you as a man can.
Your one trump card is the world is a big place full of very poor people and all those poor women want a hard working loyal man to look after them. As a 30 year old man do you want to marry a 29 year old woman past her best who's spent her best years having sex with 7/8/9s and spend the rest of you life paying for her decline when she gave her best to someone else? Or do you want to go overseas and find a 24 year old woman or even younger if you can? It's a no brainer.
It is massively frowned upon. Why? I think because most people don't understand the female dating strategy and how stacked it is against men. For women in the west this is the nightmare scenario - that they spend their 20's having sex with the guys they want, then the guys they ignored in their 20's but need in their 30's to pay for them for the rest of their life are not there.
If I was 18 now, this would be my strategy:
1. Get in to a good career.
2. Guard and grow/invest my money. Treat it like a dragon. Buy property, do it up, rent it out, buy shares, go to night school, ask for pay rises often.
3. Stay healthy, wear nice clothes.
4. Try to date, get sex where you can. Your best bet is a relationship, accept that you aren't going to get one night stands and you'll know guys getting loads of sex and attention from women while you get nothing. Do not feel bad about it. When women don't laugh at your jokes and laugh at similar jokes told by a better looking dudes, or treat a good looking dick of a man well and are mean to you despite being nice - accept it, don't get angry. But do not marry or get anyone pregnant.
5. Use prostitutes, but always stay safe. Don't use prostitutes in the west where they are expensive. Go on holiday somewhere where you can get amazing women at reasonable prices. This is frowned upon - but why? I think it's because women in the west want your resources and don't like it when you spend those resources. It devalues women in the west, if they know men can go and get better sex with hotter women cheaper, women in the west don't like it. It exposes the fact that marriage is men providing resources in return for sex. It's the way it's always been, but women don't like to think about it like that because it devalues them, and when after a few years of marriage they don;t want to have sex with you they can say just because we're married doesn't mean I have to have sex with you. If it's explicit that marriage is sex for resources they can't do that, and that's what prostitution does. So it is very very very frowned upon by all women, and by men that are stupid, and men that want to look good in the eyes of women because they think it'll give them social standing or something. It's also an ackowledgment that you are not a 8/9/10 out of 10 looks man, that gets all the sex they possibly want. Personally I don't think that's a problem and 5/10 looks men who say they'd never use a prostitue are trying to say they are 8/9/20 men getting all the sex they want, and it's a lie. They are not. BTW I've never used a prostitute, I am an open minded person, but I've never felt comfortable even talking about it when I was younger. Now I think I understand the world better I would 100% use prostitutes, especially if I was younger. It stops you getting depressed, it stops you making bad decisions out of desperation, and shows it's a big world full of women not like the women you are stuck with in London.(Note what changed my mind on prostitution? I realised that Tinder is a prostitution service for women. I saw youtube videos showing the messages women send to hot men - it's literally "Do you want me to come over and give you a blow job?". It's a free prostitution service where women get hundreds of matches scroll through a big long list of men and have free sex with whoever they want on the list. If Tinder is a free service for women, would it matter if there was a paid for equivalent for men? No. So why is it so frowned upon. If it was a free service for men, would women complain? Probably, because the last thing women want is for all men to be getting all the sex they want. Because sex is the main driving force making men be nice to women. If it wasn't free then definately because women want men with resources. Nothing makes women more angry than a man spending resources on another woman.
6. If something unexpected happens and you meet a nice girl in her early 20's that's on your looks level and a few years younger, that wants to be with you. Maybe marry her, but don't have kids till you're at least 30.
5. Once your career is on track and you're 25, start trying to date women about 20. If you are having no luck and you feel you are ready, go overseas and look for an 18-20 year old wife.
6. Personally I would want kids that looked like me, so I'd look for the poorest countries with the worst social security nets for women where women et married youngest which I think is Russia/Poland/Ukraine.
Why didn't I do this?
1. I had terrible advice from my mum and dad. They grew up when people got married at 20. Their advice (work hard, go to parties, find a nice woman and marry her) works for that. It does not, now women don't get married till almost 30.
2. I didn't understand the dynamics of the sexual market place. I thought there was something wrong with me. I didn't realise what women were doing. I also believed womens and societies lies, that women care about personality, just be a nice person, do the right thing and you'll be rewarded in the end, there's someone for everyone, single mothers are innocent victims and all the other bullshit.
3. Going overseas was both hard and frowned upon. It's still frowned upon. I know realise that society frowning on it is driven by stupidity (not understanding the marketplace and what's happened - women having as much sex as they want an so many men being sexless) and women fearing the men they expect to be there for them after they finished having sex with the men they want won't be there for them.
Alternative strategy and why I don't think it's good.
I could have done this. I met a couple of girls maybe 3-4 looks who wanted to marry me in their early 20s. This is a good strategy. I heard a person say "In life, learn to like the people that like you." These were good women who were really nice. I'd have been happy. Other guys with hotter women will look down at you and say mean things. Fuck them. Either they are 8/9/10 with options you never had. Or they got lucky, or their wife had sex with a load of better looking men than him and settled for him when she hit her late 20s, but knows she's had better looking men. Fuck all those guys.
But there's one draw back. If you're a 5 and you marry a 3 you're going to have 4 kids, and it's going to be really hard for your kids. This is sad, because if it wasn't for the impact on your kids, I think this would be the best strategy. I can see past looks ironically. But ugly people have tough lifes. Better looking people get more love, more sex, more attention, get paid more for doing the same job, more likely to be promoted etc etc etc. What do you want for your kids. If I'd have realised this, I'd have taken dating far far more seriously. I would have taken a career break to go to eastern europe to try and find a good women to have kids with because it's life changingly important.
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